Saturday

Defeat the Awesome Powers of... Captain Flakey!



In my last blog post, I spoke about the importance of making a plan by November. Your silence was deafening. You didn't do it, did you? I can see Captain Flakey has been at work. I didn't warn you about The Captain. It's my fault. I'll remedy that right now.


Step 1: Identify Captain Flakey


Now, a captain is usually a good thing. A great thing. Nice to have one. Nice to be one. Every now and then, however, a less wonderful captain shows up. He wears a cape emblazoned with a giant F. He is... Captain Flakey. If you're not careful, Captain Flakey will take over your life and destroy your dreams.


How do you identify him? First, he does not always appear kitted out with the cape. This is his fiendish strategy. Sometimes, he appears as a new person in your life. Sometimes, he infiltrates the brains of those you know. Sometimes, he even infiltrates the brain of someone you know very well indeed... YOU!


You can recognise him by his weapons:


  • The sword of Inertia: With this sword, he cuts off your ability to take even small steps forward. The sword of inertia creates a general 'not bovvered' ness that cripples your ability to make plans, or even comment on blogs. I see the Captain is working within you this month. I hope this post comes in time to save you all.
  • The Handcuffs of Inadequacy: These handcuffs have quite awesome power. They unleash the power of what I call 'aggressive apathy'. It is that sense that you must do something, but that you'll probably fail so it's best not to try. The turmoil is internal. You fight against the handcuffs, but only in your mind. You are chained to irritated inaction.
  • 'Yes' Repellent: The most potent of Captain Flakey's weapons is 'Yes' Repellent. If he sprays you with this, you will be incapable of positivity. Every opportunity will be met with a 'no'. Every good thing will create a level of suspicion so paralysing that you are left flailing in a pit of mediocrity while people walk by, shrug, and say: 'Oh. Captain Flakey got him. Shame'. 


Step 2: Defeat Captain Flakey 


Do not be at home to Captain Flakey! Punch him in his suspicions. Kick him in his indequacies.  LEAVE A COMMENT saying one way in which you plan to defeat Captain Flakey, RIGHT NOW. Commit it to the web. Say it loud. Say it proud. Say it now! What are you going to change? However small. What is your dream? However big. You have a right to state it, now.


DON'T LET CAPTAIN FLAKEY WIN!  



9 comments:

  1. Ok, here goes....Captain Flakey stand defeated! I have a massive, and I do mean massive, collection of stuff that I must conquer!! Sort, identify, categorize, keep, discard, donate. I will begin this month. Where this takes me....I hope to an organized and clutter free world. Will I accomplish.... we shall see.

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  2. Being a late developer, a very late developer and the commiter of so many mistakes it pains me, lost opportunities because of giving into fear and defeat before I had even begun, inertia, laziness, an ingrained belief in my general worthlessness (and always being surprised, and disbelieving, when others think be capable of so much more) I wish to affirm, here and now, that I can and will be a successful writer of fiction (novelist, screenwriter and blogger). I can because I must because I want. Besides, it will be so juicy proving me wrong and others right. Because what do I know? upstart little punk that I am, "see they were right, I am a success, and you thought you couldn't!"

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  3. Shirley: You can do it! You'll feel so much better afterwards. Sweep it all out and start afresh!

    Robert: Excellent comment! Thank you for your courage and honest. You WILL do it, I'm sure. Keep me up to date with your progress.

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  4. That is such great advice - my personal plan is to overcome all of Captain Flakey's tools to put myself in a position where I don't have to return to a crap job! This, of course, is the simplified version of the plan ...

    Thanx so much, Rebecca, for keeping this focus front and centre!

    Happy travels!!

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  5. Red Nomad: Fabulous plan. Keep an eye on the blog. May be able to help you with that. :)

    Keep me posted on your progress. Captain Flakey must be defeated!

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  6. The Handcuffs of Inadequacy have me held hostage!!! I've always wanted to be writer and I've started a couple of blogs (hallelujah!), but my passion is to write and publish a novel. I think about it, and think about it, and never actually BEGIN to do it. UGH. I keep thinking of what to write, how to write it, will it be good enough, you get the picture. Dang Captain Flakey!!

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  7. Shelly: You're in luck. Not only have I been through that very experience with The Captain, and come out the other side with a novel to show for it, but I also have a bunch of re-motivating goodies that could help kick you in the butt and move you into the world of writerhood.

    First things first:

    1/ Stop thinking of yourself as someone who wants to write. If you dream about writing, you won't write. You'll dream. Dreamers dream. Writers write. Call yourself a writer, and you HAVE to write *freakily simple pyschology alert!*

    2/ Grab some writerly stuff. It helps bring you into the writing tribe with the rest of us. (Shockingly, other writers don't mind new blood. We all help each other out. Some of my best chums are best selling authors and journalists. It's a good group of people). Aside from a fab pen, or a working keyboard, get something that says 'I write. I'm a writer. I like words. No. I LOVE words. I am a total WORD NERD! Fortunately, I just put some up in the shop here: SHOP If you have a dog, start referring to it as your muse. (One of the gifts is a dog shirt that says 'I'm not a mutt, I'm a muse'. Actually, refer to anything you like as your muse. We do that. Talking about brain gnomes and plot bunnies is optional. Have a bash at NaNoWriMo if you like. It is on now. You could have a novel written by next month if you get a move on!

    3/ Check out my podcasts on writing for non-writers. More to come soon. The reason the blog's gone texty rather than audio of late is largely down to a cold *cough*. When I'm over this I'll finish the podcast series.

    Hope that helps :)

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  8. Oh dear. *Shakes head at number of typos in my last comment*. That, of course, is why writing is only step one. Step two? Re-writing. :P

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  9. Thanks Rebecca....I was so enthralled thinking about my neurotic min-pin dog as a 'muse' that I neglected to notice your typos - no worries. :) Thanks for the tips, I'll most definitely check out the podcasts and I'm on my way to shop for that shirt!

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I appreciate your comments. :)